It’s been an intense year of ups and downs. Thoughts of gratitude, everything happens for a reason and life is too short running through my mind. Everyone grieves differently. Anyone who is smart enough to understand that or who has first hand been through the death of a loved one would know that everyone grieves differently. It saddens me when I hear people say things like, “oh look at how much she cried”, “look at what she’s doing” etc. This judgement is unnecessary and actually shows the lack of compassion and empathy one has in them. No one has said anything to me, but I’ve been to many funerals now, and this seems to be happening a lot not only at funerals but any kind of gathering.
Are there a lack of things for you to talk about? That you must compare, compete and put down others with your unnecessary judgement and opinions? Because anyone in their right mind would know that it is their own faults, negativity and guilt that comes through in such negative mentions. I felt compelled to write this because it’s been a week and I’ve been struggling with getting back into my routine, and you know what one of the things that really kept going through my mind was? If I continue on living, and pick up where I left off…
what will people say?
HOW TO KEEP ON GOING AFTER A DEATH OF A LOVED ONE
When our brother passed away I wanted to give up on everything. Can I just not go to work and completely go dark on social media? And now our father passed away and all those feelings have rushed back but even darker. I was on the brink of losing sight of what this life is all about. Of course, I’ll never forget them. I’m praying for them both every day. I do my part in keeping them in my thoughts, do good in their name and everything and anything else I could do to respect the lives that they once had. But why is it so important for society to know exactly what it is that I’m doing? Fortunately, being on full blast on social media breaks those barriers to a certain extent and some of you who watch my Instagram stories, or see what I post to know what’s going on. But I’d like to remind you, that this is a mere 10% of my life. There is so much going on in the background. Some days I open up and show you 30%, especially if I believe it’s something you can all benefit and learn from.
So here I am, at a fork in the road where I thought if I don’t lift myself up and get back into the routine that I love then I’m going into the darkness.
Life is too short.
But what about, Balance.
Balance is the solution. Living a balanced life of remembering those we have lost, with prayer and good deeds, doing what we love and spending time with our loved ones. Find your balance. If there is one thing I could say to pass on the advice of when you’re struggling with moving forward after losing a loved one, I would say… find your balance. Don’t worry about what others are saying. Pick up where you left off, do MORE good, remember others and those who are negative, enlighten them with your kindness by being positive around them. Because those are the people who need it the most.
Please remember my brother Muhammed Usman in your prayers and my father Mian Muhammad Rauf.
May they both rest in peace in Jannah Firdaws.
